Sitting, waiting
Just idling through time
Signaling, motioning
Like some speechless mime
Wondering, pondering
Why life sometimes seems a chore
Feeling, sensing
Maybe there's something more

The first moments are never more than a daze
A rude shock of a reality you wish would disappear
Slowly though you fight to be aware, breaking free of the maze
Your head is pounding - maybe caused by the beer

Then you see your clock making its cute little beep
You methodically get up, stagger to it, and throw it against the wall
The noise stops, and your bloodshot eyes decide they need more sleep
It's time to crash and into bed you unconsciously fall

I look at you
And I see straight through
But your transparency rather tends to conceal
What I wish it would reveal
Your being pervades every facet of my mind
Giving me a view of you as lighthearted as well as refined
Then, there is the matter concerning my heart.
It's completeness in your presence, and the lacking produced when you depart.
I'm not sure why I have such trouble saying how I feel
Then I reason it out by stating I must first know if it's real.
Now I know, and I wish to end some of the games we play
Possibly go on to something more, only though if you feel for me in the same way
Just know I think you are very special, because you see
I never want anything to come between you and me.

It's you.
The flash of your eye
A hint of your smile
And I know
It's you I've been looking for

Just wish for once I could read the look in your eyes
Just wish that I could somehow stop your sighs.

Just wish I could be with you for all of my life
Just wish that I could keep you from all strife.

Just wish my fingers could forever touch yours
Just wish you might see how for you my heart soars.

Just wish I new all the right words to make you smile.

Just wish that you would let me comb your hair under the golden sunlight
Just wish that you would let me decorate your dress with the brightest stars at night.

Just wish that I could give you all the happiness in the world.

Just wish that if I die, I die for you.
                        (written with help from Cathy Chen)

Been thinkin' lots 'bout you
Can't seem to clear my mind
'Cause feelings like this
        Have been so far off
                For such a long time

Missed you for the past day or so
Fate keeping us from meeting
And I noticed it
        More than I thought
                I really could

A quick smile from your lip is all I need
Or a glimpse of that sparkle in your eye
Will keep me going,
        Going until tomorrow
                Finally is here.

A girl in a world apart
        with no more than a single smile
She captured my heart

I wanted to make her mine
        though she professed to be another's
Her eyes gave a different sign

I just can't seem to find the cure
        to free my mind of my desire
To relieve the burning I feel for her

Take hold of my hand
It won't hurt, and it won't bite
Just give it a little squeeze
Can you feel my warmth inside?
Got a space in my heart only for you
A place of trust, hope, and even love
I want you to know before you depart
You fill a special part of me
That is waiting for the day you return.

In a distant land
        I saw a girl who had your smile
It captivated me
        And brought my thoughts back
                To the friends I had left behind

True --
        The present is a joy
                But Japan is not my home
Wishing for the best of both worlds
        I wait
                For the future

The thunder roars in the distance
        I hear the sounds
        I feel the wave
The morning's coming to get me.

It's out there...  Somewhere...
        Can you feel it too?
        It can't reach me
But it wants to just the same.

On the front of the storm
        The mist reveals all
        It awakens my senses
Are you here too?

Can you see the sun?
        It only wants to be free!
        A little like me
Maybe a little like you?



"It's been a beautiful morning.
        What a morning!
                It's a great morning man!"
                        -- Vangelis

Give me a voice, and I will sing a song
Give me clear eyes and I will blaze the way
Give me strong arms and I will help those around me
Give me a dream and I will reach the stars

Captured in a snapshot
My eyes can't seem to place the time
when you were last
part of my life

The sea, the sand, the wind, the surf
        and the moon glistens over the water
A cloud, a star, a chill, a tear
        and the waves keep crashing down
The smell, the sight, the laughter, the fear
        Please God, don't let this ever end
                Just don't let it end.

The beat of the world
        beating down on the sand
Grab hold of the forces
        hold onto my hand.

The wind blowing past my limbs, 
the sand flying underneath my feet, 
no worries about me, 
and a renewed strength in my soul;
Surely the Lord has blessed this land.
Surely God has blessed me.  
Thank you for the strength.  
Thank you for everything.

Sometimes, when the sunshine leaves your eyes
I can catch a glimpse of that scared little girl
hiding in her corner
hiding from the world
The world can hurt too much
The world can move too fast
All I want to do is keep that little girl safe
Hold her tightly and make her feel alright
For without your sunshine, the world grows colder.
And without your sunshine
        my world grows a little colder.

Thoughts hover in the night mist
        like drops of water
Obscuring my mind's eye
        more than my vision
The cloud envelopes me -- There is no escape
Of my own free will I walked into this fog
to lose sight of what I held in my hand
Hoping to grab that beating heart
        which pulled me from so far away
Now I'm groping for a hand to guide me
Don't let me fall
        at least until I can see the sun one more time
Just a flash of blue sky
        and the tears falling from my eyes
                will disappear
                        like the mist

Play that Beatles song
That John & Paul sang so long ago
A hard day's night it may
        have been
But harder days and
        harder nights are still to come
So live your life for now
        - watch for the sun
If a little twist and shout
        a little flash and dance
Make your life seem a little lighter
                    a little brighter
Have your fun
        - kick off your shoes
                - fly as high as the sky

Your worries might always be there
        why should they always be on your mind?
'Cause even Paul 'n John will
        tell you
That tomorrow's gonna be a brand
        new day.



Ya can always see the stars if you
        just believe you can blow away
                the clouds...    David Carta

Listen!
        It's raining! David Carta

Never have seen quite as many lights as tonite
        and never have they seemed quite so bright
Never asked for much, or what you didn't want to give
        and never wanted more than to live & let live
-tonite the lights illuminate the sky
        and the brightness has cleared my eye
What I asked for, you willingly gave
And all you asked was that I be brave.

Dancin' on the heights
        the waves crashin' so far below
                Don't you fear a fall?

Spinnin' from ledge to treacherous ledge
        the wind blows your hair
                And you ignore it all

Twistin' through the open air
        the sands fly to meet you
                Now you can be free

I like your smile
        I like your style
                It suits my life
        Smile on
Shine on...

Pour your affection
        On all those around you
Never falling in love
        Only the desire of need
Approach like a cat
        How you tease & caress
It seem like you've given all
        Leaving nothing of yourself



I'm happy --
        if it weren't for little things I'd be
        very happy...
But happy is good
                        -- Paraphrased from NL Johnson

You tore at my heart
Kicked me down into the dirt
And then you come back
        as if I owed you something...
Just what the hell do you think?
        -that my love was given just
        to be thrown away?
Just who the hell do you think you are --
        -and angel to be worshipped by all?
You've cursed more than just me
        cursing not just their hearts
        but the depths of their innermost souls
My freedom from your evil spell
Was dearly bought
Not only did I sell my innocence, but
I lost the way

A donut,
A hug,
A butterfly,
        &
        sushi
-sometimes it's the little things
That make you happy...

Keep it all in perspective
Don't let the little things lie
Your eyes intrigue me
I want to share your happiness
        -add to your joy
The sunlight runs through the rainbow
        sidestepping the snow
So distant, never too far away
Scream in the night
        illuminating the moon
Hold me tightly -- but let me be free
The plane brings nothing but trouble
        trouble -- do you have a name?
A broken bone mend and get well
Waiting so long -- can't separate the
        days from the minutes
Just looking for a friend that's got
        a hold of my hand
But is it my heart?
Coyote gave me a smile -- where
        did she go?

I walked through
        the glow of the rainbow
Behind me I left the past
        the future coming much too fast
I pushed the girl away
        knowing it had to be today
Regaining my blessed soul
        but all I felt was the hole
                and my heart
                        torn apart.
But believe me
I AM free!

I'm in love with living
I'm in love with laughing
I'm in love with each brand new day
I love to bring a smile to your face
I love to awaken the sparkle of your eye
I love being around you
        But please understand, love,
                I'm not in love with you

Fingers trace an outline
        of my memories of you stored away
I try and picture you
        in the clouds flying so high
Sometimes I dream
        of you together with me...
It makes me happy
        because I feel for that brief moment
        that you never had to leave
Now we seem worlds apart
        and these memories are as fleeing
as clouds in the sky

(I miss you, Lisa)

Flying -- that's where I hope you are
Up with your dreams
Up in the sky.
Sometimes it's so easy to forget
My dreams come and go
Your smile and your eyes
Of a girl that left this world --
I don't want to lose
But will never leave my heart --
The picture which echoes in my mind
The dreams make me happy
Carefree and still so caring
Though I feel as if I might cry
The feeling of your adrenaline surging
She lived so strong -- Oh God how she lived --
Out to all you touched
As much as she could, As much as she dared
You lived by loving life
I feel she is still flying
And loved life by living
Somewhere --
Lived on now
Up in the sky...
Inside me.

Bibi, I miss you.

Lightning never strikes twice,
        unless you're lucky...



Spinning in the distant horizon
The shaft of blue arced its path
        Exposing the shadows
        Shaming the light

The gentle roar of nature
Echoing between the sky and clouds
        Breaks the peace
        Speaks God's name.



Where did you want to go?
What did you want to do?
What pulled at you?
Where are you now?

I hope you are happy.
at peace.
at the top of the world.

        Rest Bibi
        Rest well.

Let it go
        If it eats you from the inside
        It's going to eat you alive
        Tear your heart out

Ya gotta laugh
        It won't make a lot of sense
        But it'll turn you around
        Bring out a smile

You see...
        It doesn't matter in the long run
        It's not gonna end your life
        'Cause livin' is what it's all about.

Take a look
Long and hard
Inside and out

Does it frighten you?
Is it time?
Time to change?



I laid me down and slept
I awaked: for The Lord sustained me
                        -- Psalms 3

It's going
Not gone quite yet
        But close --



Don't want you to touch my name.
                Let me go.
                Free me.

Girl alone
In her thoughts
Free from the world
What's on her mind?

Guy afraid
A phone call away
Just wanting to know
What's on her mind.

Girl alone
Smiles to herself
While no one sees
What's on her mind?

So much beauty
So much light
A smile of innocence
Unquestioning love
I feel blessed
beyond all rhyme
        or reason.

In everyone I see
        a little of me
        a little of you
I look through their eyes
        star light
        star bright
Soul speaking to me
        wisp of light
        wisp of night
Arms open wide
        receiving me
        feeding me
                a little of God
                star might
                wisp of right
        believing in me.

Memories flood back through
Opening gates once shut
Memories that can make you laugh
Turn to those that make you weep
The pendulum keeps swinging
And our memories keep talking
Talkin' freedom, fortune, hopes and fears
Memories kissing your lips,
        touching your hands
        flowing in your veins
        fading away
        but never to die.

Holes growing, gaping out
for all the world to see
Filled from the inside, hollowing out
The shell is all that's left
Your pearl now formed
Your all, your life
Based on a speck of sand
A foundation for beauty
A tower for strength
Indestructible, yet polished
And all you see is the empty shell.

Goodbyes have never been easy
Not for me, not for you
Don't wanna put the past aside
Memories fill up a dam
Threatening to explode

Goodbyes are not for good
Neither are they for bad
They are just a leaving behind
A loss leading to a gain
Why are you going?
Why aren't I?
Someday I may follow you.
Someday you may return.
But will I be gone?

long long time
rain, thunder, storm
blow by, set in, strike
emotions run wild, fragile as a baby
lost in the rain
falling in the storm
struck by lightning
near miss, not once, but twice
melted rubber to the asphalt
hair flyin' on end
heart shattered in pieces
glass in the window
banshee scream on the wing
where can it end never
until the silence
        and thunder
free the moment
lost for that
long, long time



But who will be there to take your place?
                        -- Bangles

Long long time ago, I can still remember how
that music used to make me smile.
                        -- Don McClean (American Pie)

Fall from Heaven
Trip and Fall
Fall from Grace
Fall to your knees
Free Fall
Fall Down
Fall Back
Fall is in the Air
Fall in Love



Hopefully to have a padded fall instead of a padded cell...

A little off
A slight mistake
and I want to go back
A thought ahead
A look behind
is regret all that lasts?

Sights of wonder surround us every day
Things to discover the secrets held within
We overlook the countless miracles
And forget the special place they once held.

I reached out my hand
and all I could feel was her cold steel
protective armor guarded by a cutting edge
Insulated from the world
haunted by the memories within

I reached around her body
Drawn tight and ready to defend
The vulnerable heart only recently whole
Gathered from the pieces
A testament to her will

I reached out to her
offering only comfort and love
not knowing how to enter her fortress
looking for the key
that she held
just
out of reach.

I ached to kiss her lips
        to grasp her hair in my hands
My heart screaming out
        both yes and no

Her friendship was already mine
but her love was not to be
so the ache remained.

For years
and all your fears
still remain
For no ones gain
Four years
and all you held dear
just seems
like so much a dream.

Mr. Daniels had a talk with you last night
He talked deep, long, and hard
He got right to the point

Mr. Daniels said you were alone -- you knew he was right
he saw your self pity
He called you a fool.

Mr. Daniels spoke only the truth, only the facts
His truth made you weep
He offered no recourse.

Mr. Daniels talked to you and then talked some more
He cut deep his mark
He let you fall into oblivion.



With friends like this -- who needs enemies?

Been walking around these lonely streets for hours
Trying to come to grips with the words you said
The silence of the streets echoes my response

The rock I kicked flew over the edge of the darkness
Tumbling there for what seemed forever
The forever I thought I'd be spending with you.

The lights of the city seem so far from me
Your world, not mine.  A world not to be shared
A world where love is only as eternal
                as the day.

Can't believe it's true
The further I get from you
The more I don't want things to change
But it's too late
As you ignore the worlds that I say
You walk the other way.

Stop the thoughts of that girl
        She's not thinking of you
        She's not waiting for you
        She's not going to be there for you
        She doesn't love you
Stop.
Stop falling out of control
Stop and think
Stop tearing out your heart
Stop and stand on your own

Through the window I saw her
A vision dancing to the wind
Spinning in circles
Her dress floating like the breeze
Her essence breathing into my heart

Her face threw rays of sunlight
Warming the world with her presence
I couldn't tear my eyes away
>From this apparition in pinks & whites
She had danced into my soul
Settling down in the depths
        of my thoughts

The woman I see makes me smile
        reaches out to touch
                        to see
                As I might need
                        strength
                of a heart
        that tenderly gives
love and compassion

The man I see gives a laugh
                running further on
                        to see
                the dangers
                        awaiting
        us in the future
adventures to be shared
together as one

The friend I see reassures me
        That I need depend
                on no one
                        to see



Sometimes the best friends are the ones you can see least...
                        -- David Carta

A friend's perspective is often as good as second sight.
                        -- David Carta

She's always there
Those eyes burning in the past
hair of silk
skin like satin

Her lips opened
as her memory breathed his name
only to fall on ears
that were as blind as they were deaf

A smile touched her lips
as a tear crossed her cheek
knowing the shadows
would protect her secret.



I've got a picture in my mind --
        white sand beaches
At least it's a cool picture.
        I'd paint it if I could.
                        -- J.K.

The world means music
Music breathing forth life
The life shining as a star
The star illuminating my path
A path leading to the future
A future full of mystery
The mystery that lies in her heart
A heart needing to be touched
Touched by a word

A life is a search
        looking for hidden treasures
Except it's never obvious
        when the treasure is before you
A jewel can shine
        so brightly in your hand
Yet your eye is still allured
        by momentary flashes
Flashes by jewels
        that may be of more worth
        that may forever elude you
Or flashes which are no more
        than tricks of the sun
Weaving their spell
        enthralling your heart
Allowing you to loosen your grip
        losing the treasure you already had.

I'm gonna see you tonite
Can't wait 'til I do
Babe, I'm gonna hold you
close to my heart
And it will feel so right.
Tonight, the world's gonna be ours.



There's something about you
        that gives me the feeling of home
I can't forget the way
        I feel when I'm with you
When I see you in the distance
        I feel at peace with the world
When you are next to me
        I feel like I'm touching heaven.

Feelings.  Thinking about a friend.
Talking.  Walking through memories of you.



Oh -- why can't you see what I see
And why can't I be for you
        What you tried so hard
                Not to be for me?

craving the high
adrenaline surging
feeling you can fly
muscles screaming
blood pumping
mind racing
gotta keep it up
no letting down
pushing yourself
as far, as fast
as deep as you can dig.
nothing but heart
behind the need
to excel, to achieve
body crying
"no more!"
aching for rest
somewhere inside
a fire raging
burning in your soul
creating strength
doing more than anyone
ever dreamt
no limits, no boundaries
no end to the will
that stretches beyond
anyone's imagination
behind the flash
lighting their eyes
look towards tomorrow
see the future
        and believe
                        -- for the Olympians of the 1992 Summer Games

I thought for a moment
        I could lose you
I thought for a moment that
        you weren't forever
Thinking that you were just another
        part of this world
A thing of the moment, just waiting
        for your time to disappear.

You were always there
A constant friend
my soul's savior
calling me home

A thousand sparkles
        fly in the wind
A thousand stars
        waiting for one to fall
A thousand prayers
        hoping a single wish
                might come true.



As you cannot do what you wish,
        you should always wish what you can do.
                        -- Terence

It has been such a long while
Since I've had a friend to comprehend
That love is easy -- they are only feelings I send
Doesn't take much
Sometimes it's only a smile
My head tumbles over my heels
I am just not in control of what my heart feels
Doesn't take much.



One wink, a glimpse of a smile
        and here I go again
Somehow I didn't expect that from you
        but what can I do?
You always seem to turn back to this page
        expose my heart with

one touch, a sideways glance
        and here I go again
You never were meant for me, I know
        while I could never be for you
Still I yearn for the taste of your lips
        and the sound of your

one voice, a musical laugh
        and here I go again
Somehow I just want to have you near
        I need you as a friend
All the while my soul struggles, I know
        we will never be

one.

It's good to be free
     good to be with friends
          to be aware of life's gifts
             be strong in your beliefs

Drink in the laughter of others
      in the laughter we can be young
         the laughter opens our eyes
             laughter will set you free

Contemplate the ramifications
        of actions unthoughtout
Somehow you rationalize that what
        is best for you is best for all.
Selfish actions are always easy

Marriages disintegrate daily
        while children suffer
Never having the opportunity to
        understand they are not to blame
And parents turn a blind eye.

Society has inverted decency
        leaving us with no sense of shame
There is no longer a right or wrong
        just alternate views deemed equal
As responsible behavior fades entirely



Hold on... hold on to yourself... This is going to hurt like hell.
                        -- Sarah MacLaughlin

It is said that time is on our side
But it might be more appropriate to say
time is on Your side.

"There is an appointed time for everything
        and a time for every affair under the heavens...
        a time to embrace and a time to be far from embraces
        a time to seek and a time to lose
        a time to keep and a time to cast away"

On days like this I need
                        a few more hours to grow
                a couple more minutes to pray
and two more seconds to stop
                to run my toes in the sand
        to acknowledge Your loving hand
to turn my eyes towards heaven and see
                stars twinkling on high
        creation continuing to unfold
rain falling, running down my face like
                a brook babbling in its bed
        tears of Christ as he sacrificed his life
time flowing by.

I walk along day after day
        experiencing the newness
        walking into others fields
                But the thrill is only a dull thud
                Life resonance muted
                        Because I am not whole.



You don't bring me anything but down.
                        -- Sheryl Crow

I don't think you realize
That I want nothing from you
which you are willing to give

I know you don't understand
that I don't want to feel
tenderness to you or your idea

I try to separate our lives
Insulate my thoughts from yours
Keep from being drawn in

And I know I can't see
how you in your way
need the same from me.

The beginning is always the same
        fire, passion, creativity
        go hand in hand
Exploding from a heart too large
        to be contained in flesh.

When a thought can make you smile
When a hand can make you strong
When a hope can make your prevail
        Newness of life is never far.